Discourse of the nature, offices, and measures of friendship (1657)

10. After all this, treat thy friend nobly, love to be with him, do to him all the worthinesses of love and fair endear∣ment, according to thy capaci∣ty and his; Bear with his infirmities till they approach to∣wards being criminal; but ne∣ver dissemble with him, never despise him, never leave him.

Give him gifts and upbraid him not, † and refuse not his kindnesses, and be sure never to despise the smallness or the impropriety of them. Confirmatur amor beneficio accepto: A gift (saith Solomon) fastneth friendships; for as an eye that dwells long upon a starre must be refreshed with lesser beauties and strengthened with greens and looking-glasses, lest the sight be∣come amazed with too great a splendor; so must the love of friends sometimes be refreshed with ma∣terial and low Caresses; lest by striving to be too divine it becomes less humane: It must be allowed its share of both: It is humane in giving pardon and fair construction, and opennesse and ingenuity, and keeping secrets; it hath some∣thing that is Divine, because it is be∣neficent; but much because it is E∣ternall.